Travelling with friends or partners - a recipe for success (or disaster)?
Recently, I’ve been doing a lot of travelling with friends and family. Since moving from Australia to Spain, travelling with friends has seemed like a great way to combine two of the things I love doing — socialising with people I love to hang out with, and exploring new cities/countries. But while this can seem like a great idea at first, anyone who is an experienced traveller (or perhaps someone with a few poor experiences under their belt) would know you should always pick your travel companions very very carefully.
Why? Things can very easily turn messy, complicated and sometimes, expensive. But despite that, some people come out the other end with stronger relationships and even better friendships, plus some wicked memories created together. So if you are thinking of travelling with a friend, group, or partner, try answer these 12 questions to determine whether you could be compatible travel buddies…
12 questions to ask yourself before you travel with friends or partners
How long have you known your potential travel companion/s? Will you be joining a contiki tour/group, or are you travelling with long time friends? Maybe you’ll be travelling for the first time with your partner or perhaps you’re joining in on someone else’s trip who you’ve just met. Many people say travelling with a partner can be the make or break of the relationship and I’d have to agree. But I also think the same can be said about friendships too. Travelling can be a stressful and challenging experience, especially if you’re new to it, so having a travel companion who you know well can help make this process a heck of a lot easier.
How long do you plan on travelling with them for? Is it just a weekend, a few weeks, or a longer trip? The longer you travel with someone, the more you’ll learn about each other and the more opportunities you’ll have to face challenges together (or with each other). My recommendation is to start with shorter trips (weekend getaways or a few days) and then move to longer, extended periods once you know you travel well together.
Where are you going and have you and your companion been to that city/destination before? For me, travelling to the same country again is like re-reading a good book; you begin to remember how to travel in that country/city and this makes you more adaptable/confident when it comes to local travel challenges. For example, if you’ve never been to Japan, you might not know that you need to bring your rubbish with you as public bins are scarce. If you and your travel companions are both going to a new city/country and have little travel experience, you may encounter a few more challenges and ‘surprises’ than you otherwise would expect.
What’s your traveller “status”? Are you both new to travelling, intermediate or frequent travellers? In addition to the above point, take note of how much your companion or group has travelled previously. Frequent travellers can be great assets, especially if they’re local to the area you’re going to, or if they have a few travel stints under their belt. Small things like knowing what goes in your checked luggage versus your carry on, or how early to arrive at an airport for an international flight can be handy skills to have. Other important skills include being bi or multi-lingual, especially if you or your travel companion can speak the language of where you’re going.
Have you discussed how you will split costs during your trip? Financial compatibility is something I see tear many groups and travel companions apart. My husband and I share expenses with joint accounts, however knowing how fiscally responsible (or irresponsible) your companion is, whether it’s a partner or friend, can really make or break a trip. Before booking anything, I would definitely recommend discussing how you’ll split costs during a trip with friends. I like to use the SplitWise app for tracking trip expenses especially if one party has paid.
Are your travel companion/s good communicators? If you’re an introvert and need your alone time, communication is VITAL so that your travel partners can respect your space and give you your alone time — and vice versa. Whether you’re with a partner or a group of friends, communicating how you’re feeling and what you need is important to ensure that you do you on your holiday. There’s nothing worse than trying to be the ‘easy going’ group member who agrees to all of the plans, but secretly feels resentful for not having done what they really wanted on the trip. Travelling can amplify emotions, and often these challenges can cause a build up of frustration and outbursts. So say how you feel, effectively communicate what you want/need, and respect the feelings of those you’re travelling with.
What’s their style of travel? Some people are super planners, and need everything booked in advance with an itinerary, while others fly by the seat of their pants and prefer to ‘wing it’ by booking as they go. When you travel more, you’ll discover what strengths you have (and also maybe your weaknesses too), so finding someone who can support or complement your travel style (maybe making up for your shortcomings) can be really helpful. When you travel with someone more often, you might find that you begin to recognise each other’s travel strengths, habits and travel style, so this process of travelling together should get easier and easier as you become more familiar with each other.
Are you budget compatible? Will your travel group be planning on spending the same amount of budget for certain things; for example, is the expectation that you’ll be eating at 5-star restaurants every night, or will you be cooking at your accommodation? The same goes for where you’ll be staying — do you all want to splurge on a fancy hotel, or prefer home stays, b&bs or perhaps hostels and camping for a more affordable option? The travel budget is something I like to get clear on at the very beginning so that everyone has the same expectations for the trip, and we all know how to save or financially prepare in the lead up.
What’s everyone’s role or responsibility for the trip? Collaboration and compromise is key to ensuring everyone gets something they wanted out of the trip, but it’s not always easy. If you know the strengths of each person in the travel group, then assigning roles (or picking your own roles) can lead to a more collaborative environment. It’s of course easy to suggest that someone should be in charge of the group, however this dynamic can lead to a dictatorship and can often frustrate members of the travel group who don’t feel seen/heard. My suggestion? If, for example, you’re deciding on which accommodation option to book for the group, have everyone who wants to put forward an option do so, and have everyone in the group vote for their favourite pick. Alternatively, a tit for tat approach can also work, where you alternate between travellers in deciding what you do/book. E.g. traveller ‘A’ can pick the accommodation for the first city, and traveller ‘B’ can pick the second accommodation.
Are there health or dietary considerations you need to accommodate for? In the spirit of compromise and respecting your travel companions, it’s important to note the lifestyle, health and dietary requirements of the people you are travelling with. For example, you may not want to pre-book a BBQ steakhouse if 2 people in your group are vegan. Knowing the allergies and health details of your travel companions is also vital incase there is an incident and you need to act quickly — especially in the case of a nut allergy, you’ll want to know if your friend/partner carries an EpiPen. Trips that involve people of different abilities should respect these differences. This could be something as simple as taking the elevator to avoid carrying heavy luggage up/down stairs at train stations (especially if someone has a bad back/neck/physical limitations).
What’s the trust factor? Travelling with someone no matter how well you think you might know them, requires a great deal of trust. Trust that they’ll book the accommodation you agreed on, trust that they’ll pay you back for an expense, and trust that they’ll look after you while you’re together. So despite whether you’re in a new relationship, travelling with long term friends, or exploring a city with new friends, you’ll discover who you can trust (and maybe travel with again) and who you can’t.
Are you travelling with the right people? If you are feeling unsafe, manipulated or coerced in any way while travelling this is something that should not be taken lightly. Make sure whenever you travel you have someone who knows where you are, what your travel plans are and at the very least, the contact details of your Government consulate or police. Safety while travelling is a huge topic, so I won’t go into it right now, but hopefully after reading these questions you can ensure you’ve done a lot of the groundwork to safely and happily travel with your friends or partner.
